~ JunKIt's full of thoughts ~

This time, I do hear you, I really do..

2010-12-21T13:21:00.000+08:00

This time, I do hear you, I really do..

For 25 years I have been living in this lie and pretence of who I am, which I didn’t believe and refused to acknowledge. And yes, I had shut you out of my life as you did not conform to my world that I have created and chained myself to.

I did not believe you when I said your pain is due to being kept in the dark, and not because I am spending time with my friend.

I have brushed off time and time again your supports and efforts to show support as I did not believe myself that anyone can be supportive of what I’m doing. I’ve never trusted myself to be able to get the recognition I needed, and that everything I had done was through my own’s merit. I have trusted anyone for support and therefore not from you.

I have rejected your calls and attempts to make peace, I have never given myself a chance to make peace with myself, and I agree I didn't give you the chance either.

I understand you feel helpless in your financial obligation to your parents and you tried to make it up by limiting the hurt to them in every decision made. I hadn’t supported you as the lie I had created did not have this image before. Two confused people together just added to the confusion which I just simply choose to avoid instead of tackling the problem.

I easily give up on marriage just because of misunderstanding. It is a consistent behavior that I had build up since young to avoid taking issues head on, and let it pass. I never believe it would be worth the effort to take on issues, as I had never ever gotten approval for it. I felt that the fastest way to set a priority for my brother is to set an example to him. Anything that does not fall into that category just simply did not make sense.

I understand that you are tired of being my scapegoat that would be blamed when things did not come my way. I see and recognized that part of me now. I needed an excuse to protect my image and I had sacrificed you for that. I am sorry for that.

My doubts whenever I did anything was to check if my parents will be upset, and if they will not be, nothing else matter. Again I recognize where it is coming from, the childhood experience that I had.

I didn't have time for you, I placed my family first, I forgot our plans, I neglect our time together, and our plans always had to change because something else crops up. I understand that and see that clearly now. I am sorry for the excuses I gave, I am sorry that I have woke up late to see these. I didn't have the energy to spend time with you as I had expended them all to the rest of the priorities to live in the lie that I created myself. The lie that I need to be my brother’s keeper and if not do not become that, I will not be loved by my parents. The same thing goes for Shuyi as I had regarded my aunt to be my parent too due to the childhood memories of her replacing my dad’s position when she was abroad. Seeing her wasted was a big blow to me, and I had resolved to treat shuyi as my sister, which connected to the memory of my vow to ensure my brother turns up well else my parents will not love me. You do not see any concerns from me cuz I had nothing more to share, all these energies that were supposed to be channeled to you were channeled to everyone else, whom I have to prove, to advise, to show my presence… all in the hope of trying to set an example, someone whom my brother can look up to. I see them all so clearly now..

With this clarity, I see the pain and suffering that you had gone through. I understand and feel them completely. I know you hurt a lot inside and you are struggling. I loved you enough to let you go and break up with my old self. I hated that side of myself too. I can’t understand how you can love a guy who doesn't even love himself.

I am glad that I am now able to take a step and look at the world with open eyes now. I have verified time and time again on the vow that I made when I was young. The part about my parents will not love me if I didn't protect my brother, and I know it’s not true anymore. My parents have showered love with or without my protection. And that breaks the entire understanding of me. That is the “who am I” question that I have been searching an answer for. I am me! I am not my brother’s keeper. Stepping out of this illusion sets me to see things clearly now.. I feel your pain, I genuinely do. I can understand that you wanted to get out of the relationship as you did not matter to me. And seriously you didn't get the love that you deserved with all the lies that I wrapped myself with. I can understand your frustration when you do not get to me.

I am mending my relationship with myself, my loved ones and friends all over again with the new me. I understand that this act of courage is not going to be easy, as many people will no longer recognize who I am. The lies that I am peeling off now. I can understand that you still have feelings for me, and want to continue to stay and work on this relationship. I can feel that. And I understand that. I will like you to stay and we work on mending our relationship. Let me start loving you as I should. This self discovery process has just started, and I’m pretty excited about it actually. I’m apprehensive of what is ahead, but since there are people who had walked this path of self realization before I did, I’m sure it must be something positive. And I really yearn for that. This peace that I gets, this clarity that I have in me. It is what I am searching for.. This is the freedom and happiness that I am getting, similar to what Buddhism taught me and I didn't understand. If you give this new me a chance, let me show you that I do have the compassion and capacity to love.

Thought sorting in progress...

2010-12-20T11:05:00.005+08:00

You know the feeling of chasing after your tail to find out if that tail belongs to you , of what is your main purpose and direction in life, and realised that everything that you are searching for is actually with you and you have been ignoring and avoiding it all these while? Well thats how blind we all are. Stucked in our illusion and idea of whats working and whats not working. I have lived my life as my brother's role model for the past 25 years, and had gotten so rooted in this role that when it got challenged by the career standstill, my equilibrium was shaken and i spiralled spiritually downwards.

I am glad I see further than my illusions now, thanks to attending this course "The Courage to Create", which really helped me to explain the answer of WHO AM I , a question which i started searching for these 2 years. I will not confess that I still have fears of stepping forward to embrace the unlimited opportunities, as that is what I have been made to think and believe for so long. But with this new light, it sheds hope that i know I have the opportunities to go out and do my best and be what i want to be!

This post doesnt make sense, as I am still in the midst of understanding what i believe i understand.. its a starting point to a new realisation, and yes, i am still figuring out whats going on... in a positive way.. =)

2010-07-31T22:43:00.003+08:00

Its been close to 3 years since I last blog. Haha.. its 4 yrs into my job, 2.8 yrs in Chartered Semiconductor (Now Global Foundries) and 1.2 yrs in HP. Tired? Weary? Lost? I guess I will tick yes on all of the above. I was reading my past entries and realised from the numerous posts that I did have a passion for what I do as a process engineer in CSM. I also retook this test to see whether my personality has changed over these few years, and the interesting thing is I have not changed. Compare this with what I did in the past --> Here

Extroversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Emotional Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	60%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	26%
Altruism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Inquisitiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%

You are an Inspirer, possible professions include - conference planner, speech pathologist, HR development trainer, ombudsman, clergy, journalist, newscaster, career counselor, housing director, character actor, marketing consultant, musician/composer, artist, information-graphics designer, human resource manager, merchandise planner, advertising account manager, dietitian/nutritionist, speech pathologist, massage therapist, editor/art director.

Well, not quite the same for those who are sharp, I have improved in terms of Emotional Stability and orderliness, less inquisitiveness .... traits of a weary engineer.. haha..

Maybe I have bottomed up my feelings for too long.. Maybe I havent been out to feel the positive air that the world brings... I feel stifled by the stuffs that I am doing, I feel angry... There is no physical attachment that can justify this feeling.. its all in the mind, and I just feel angry..

End of 2007

2007-12-23T14:56:00.000+08:00

It's christmas season and soon this year will be gone...

Year 2007... A year so different from the rest... Its hard to imagine that so many things can happen in just one year..

I've worked on chinese new year. Being in a manufacturing company, there's never a dull moment, but the work on that day was just so overwhelming... Production was running on close to full capacity, and with it came lots of line issues. I've wanted to go to my granny's place for gathering but failed to make it in the end. A big regret i'm going to have for the years to come because new year aint going to be the same again..

My aunt passed away in October after battling with liver cancer for 2 mths.. Her family were with her when she took her last breath... Even though we do not talk about it, it was a great blow for everyone. She was the youngest aunt, and the illness came so unexpectedly and quickly. She looked perfectly healthy up till the last week when she was sedated after complaining of severe pain. There wasnt anything we could do to help, except to watch her wasted away.... This memory still haunts me today.

I've gained a sister, my cousin who is now in sec 1. But how to be a good big brother, when I'm home tired and saturated everyday. She's at an age where she's rebellious, her time wasted on japanese visual kei songs. Songs which I disapproved of as it isolates her from the world. This is the golden age for her to explore and make sense of the world... But was I like this back then, I do not know... I'm strict with her, hoping to fulfill my promise to my aunt... But I'm not sure whether I've gone overboard... Its been a long time since I last been a big brother... Many a times, I feel better slacking off, and just be a nowhere man... A hermit will be my perfect job.

Having regrets was how I started the year and I do not hope this will be how it ends...

2007-11-26T00:11:00.000+08:00

i'm 26 this yr..

Worked as an engineer for 1.5 yrs....
the road ahead seems full of challenges,
but i'm ready to face them all,
as with age, comes experiences...
and its the experiences that will guide me through all obstacles..
they say i have reached the second yr of a quarter life crisis...
but i beg to differ..
for the fun has just started..
with the matured thoughts that i now possess,
will propel me on to another greater height...
the next self reflection will be on my 30th..
by then i should be somebody so and so..

To my Aunt

2007-10-21T18:46:00.000+08:00

Late on the third night,
3 men sat...

Looking at her photo ,
they silently wept...

1 for his wife,
1 for his sister, and
1 for his aunt...

Though boys were taught to be strong, to hold their tears,
but courage and sincerity had taken its toll...

The lesson you taught me every friday,
had led me closer to you each day.

Now's the time for you to rest in peace,
our pains will cease to hurt someday...

Auntie dearest you have shown us the way,
to live, to fight every single day...

2007-08-03T21:06:00.000+08:00

I'm a PE...

作者：Core-Logic　回复日期：2005-12-28　14:52:34　
　　制程工程师，也就是工艺工程师，也就是PE。他们主要负责Fab中各类工艺参数和程式的设定。一个稳定的Fab必然需要大量资深的PE在。PE的工作状况和EE不同，他们将面对多个部门的压力，MFG和PIE是“压迫”PE最多的两伙人。而Q的弟兄也会让PE非常痛苦，时常窜出来搞乱的TD工程师常常会把PE搞得抓狂。然后在PE和EE之间存在大量的灰色地带，这个事情究竟谁做？双方吵架的机会也是大把大把。　　PE和Vendor打交道的机会也比较多，无论是机台的Vendor还是Material的Vendor。熟悉之后，跳槽出去做Vendor的PE也不少。通常而言，EE去做Vendor还是修机器，而PE常常会摇身一变成了Sales。许多出去买Material的PE现在富的流油（因为有提成），尤其以卖CMP研磨液的弟兄为最好，卖靶材和光阻的就差了不少。　　PE也是需要在Fab里面常常待的，要tuning出好的程式也需要付出很大的代价。以Diff为例子，每个run都要以小时计算，无论是uniformity、Defect、Quality都需要被考量，而且最后还要得到PIE电性数据的Support。　　Fab里面出什么问题，MFG无法界定的时候，第一个通知的就是值班PE。　　每当一个新的制程在开发的时候，无论是PIE主导还是TD主导，PE都累得像条狗一样，操劳过度，而且还要陪着笑脸向制造部的Leader借机台，一不小心就付出请客喝水的代价。只有少数资深的PE敢于把PIE或者TD骂一顿然后罚他们自己去借机台的。许多PRS数据都需要切片，PE就只好在FA Lab陪伴切片的小妹度过一个个不眠之夜——尤其以ETCH的弟兄最为痛苦，当年的liaoduan他们就切片切的昏天黑地。最后怒了，就拿了把西瓜刀去找PIE进行黑社会谈判，好不容易分了一部分活出去。　　PE要值夜班，EE值班的时候，如果机台没问题就可以眯段时间，反正半夜也没有老板在。但是机台没有问题不代表Wafer没有问题，实际上Fab中Wafer出的问题千奇百怪，匪夷所思。所以PE的值班手机从来就不会闲下来，在Fab中最忙的值班电话通常是CMP、YE和PHOTO的值班手机。　　什么叫做痛苦，当你作为一个PE在Fab里接到YE的报警电话的时候就会有一种生不如死的感觉。完了，今天的值班一定没好日子过了……　　PE同样面对Fab中的不良环境，所以要注意身体，在有了小弟小妹之后就尽量少进Fab。

2007-06-19T23:06:00.001+08:00

Career Inventory Test Results

Extroversion		63%
Emotional Stability		50%
Orderliness		13%
Altruism		66%
Inquisitiveness		73%

Take Free Career Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Shucks.... I'm an engineer, proud of it, enjoying the stable yet mentally challenging environment that it provides.. But this test result matches all the personality tests i took during my job interviews last year... Guess despite the stereotype that engineers are geeks with fixed sets of rules and procedures to follow, we still need one or two messy, emotionally unstable busybodies around to inspire the general population..

C'mon Charteredess!... You know you are capable of working 21 hours per day without resting!

The world needs your chips!

Go Go Go!

2007-06-15T21:20:00.000+08:00

Took it from my friend's post:

make peace with an open heart
make peace with an open heart
i wish i can fulfill that part
it's hard and that i really know
that's why it's gonna be my goal
for now i'll write some silly shit
i'm bored of doing naught but sit
upon a butt that's growing bigger
intent upon destroying my figure
i know i've none but here i must say
to imagination, i'm but a prey
one day i am a flower, another day a tree
one day i'm prisoner, another day i'm free
you ask what holy crap this is
i'll say it's holistic rubbish
i'm mad, you're mad, oh why deny it
life is as fleeting as it fleets!
it fleets to the front and fleets to the side
it fleets to the back and fleets on a ride
time is the accomplice, that engineer
of wrinkles and a flabby rear
just embrace that whitish exterior
the sage, the age, let's have no fear

O loony is my heritage
you say, "cage her in IMH!"
scientists will tell you it's the genes
that nothing's simple as it seems
well i spent 4 years in N*S
ask anyone, ask all my friends
you need insanity to survive
to rise above the pain and strife
that's the secret why we're still alive
worry and stress are part of life
you either come to terms with it
or chew your senses bit by bit
so i hope i'll grow some wisdom soon
let love and peace and courage bloom
beautiful life i'll fleet with it
and fleet and flirt and flirt and fleet!
This poem has gone quite out of hand
who knows where it's going to end
far off in mars, or the galaxy's edge
lost in the realms of xy's head

2007-06-09T11:50:00.000+08:00

Hey check this young girl out... She's only 11, but she's got this powerful voice.. way to go!
http://www.mojoflix.com/Video/Amazing-11-Year-Old-Girl.html

2007-05-12T00:56:00.000+08:00

Shima E (To the Island)
Music by Toru Takemitsu
Lyrics by Mann Izawa

Oh, you whom i have never met, where are you?
Do you believe we'll meet someday by chance?
With one turn of the revolving glass door,
Will i run into you, I wonder?
I drift upon the ocean of the city.
Forever looking for the island
Oh, you who wander, are you forever walking?

Do you hope to find a hand to hold in yours?
If only I could someday find the heart's horizon,
Would our paths then cross, I wonder?
I keep looking for the island
Locked in deep green sleep

世间最珍贵是...

2007-04-28T00:30:00.000+08:00

Got this story from my friend's blog to share with all who cares... enjoys =)

从前，有一座圆音寺，每天都有许多人上香拜佛，香火很旺。在圆音寺庙前的横梁上有个蜘蛛结了张网，由于每天都受到香火和虔诚的祭拜的熏托，蛛蛛便有了佛性。

忽然有一天，佛主光临了圆音寺，看见这里香火甚旺，十分高兴。离开的时候，不轻易间看见了横梁上的蛛蛛。佛主停下来，问这只蜘蛛：
“你我相见总算是有缘，我来问你个问题，看你修炼了这一千多年来，有什么真知拙见。世间什么才是最珍贵的？”

蜘蛛想了想，回答到：
“世间最珍贵的是‘得不到’和‘已失去’。
佛主点了点头，离开了。

就这样又过了一千年，蜘蛛依旧在圆音寺的横梁上修炼。一日，佛主又来到寺前，对蜘蛛说道：
“一千年前的那个问题，你可有什么更深的认识吗？”

蜘蛛说：
“我觉得世间最珍贵的是‘得不到’和‘已失去’。　

又过了一千年，有一天，刮起了大风，风将一滴甘露吹到了蜘蛛网上。蜘蛛望着甘露，见它晶莹透亮，很漂亮，顿生喜爱之意。突然，又刮起了一阵大风，将甘露吹走了。蜘蛛一下子觉得失去了什么，感到很寂寞和难过。这时佛主又来了，问蜘蛛：
“又一千年了，你可好好想过这个问题：世间什么才是最珍贵的？”

蜘蛛想到了甘露，对佛主说：
“世间最珍贵的是‘得不到’和‘已失去’。”

佛主说：“好，既然你有这样的认识，我让你到人间走一朝吧。”　　

就这样，蜘蛛投胎到了一个官宦家庭，成了一个富家小姐，名字叫蛛儿。一晃，蛛儿到了十六岁了，已经成了个婀娜多姿的少女，长的十分漂亮，楚楚动人。这一日，新科状元郎甘鹿中士，皇帝决定在后花园为他举行庆功宴席。来了许多妙龄少女，包括蛛儿，还有皇帝的小公主长风公主。状元郎在席间表演诗词歌赋，大献才艺，在场的少女无一不被他折倒。但蛛儿一点也不紧张和吃醋，因为她知道，这是佛主赐予她的姻缘。　　

几天后，皇帝下召，命新科状元甘鹿和长风公主完婚；蛛儿和太子芝草完婚。这一消息对蛛儿如同晴空霹雳，她怎么也想不同，佛主竟然这样对她。几日来，她不吃不喝，穷究急思，灵魂就将出壳，生命危在旦夕。太子芝草知道了，急忙赶来，扑倒在床边，对奄奄一息的蛛儿说道：

“那日，在后花园众姑娘中，我对你一见钟情，我苦求父皇，他才答应。如果你死了，那么我也就不活了。”　
就在这时，佛主来了，他对快要出壳的蛛儿灵魂说：

“蜘蛛，你可曾想过，甘露（甘鹿）是由谁带到你这里来的呢？是风（长风公主）带来的，最后也是风将它带走的。甘鹿是属于长风公主的，他对你不过是生命中的一段插曲。而太子芝草是当年圆音寺门前的一棵小草，他看了你三千年，爱慕了你三千年，但你却从没有低下头看过它。蜘蛛，我再来问你，世间什么才是最珍贵的？”

蜘蛛听了这些真相之后，好象一下子大彻大吾了，她对佛主说：
“世间最珍贵的不是‘得不到’和‘已失去’，而是现在能把握的幸福。”

2007-04-26T22:39:00.000+08:00

nice song... =)

《古巨基-大雄(多啦A梦剧场版)》
自问是未满分
自问是没信心
实在是未够本事
我却要发威一次
太抱歉你未同意
我要这世界知
我对你有几痴
一想起都觉自私
宣布吧我爱你
可笑是你刚刚至知
我要与你游尽可爱的天下
奉送你叮噹的一堆笑话
你想过容纳我但有点怕
是吗认喇
头上就绑着竹蜻蜓飞过尘世吧
为你献花爱吗爱喇
日后发奋的我
能令你会有富贵荣华
能令我变了绝代情人你受吗
自问是大懒猪
自问是未够班
但自愿被你欺负
世界对我太可恶
我爱你却极顽固
我也有我法宝
我永远对你好
可不可演你丈夫
不怕令你厌恶
不会令你一刻吃苦

I write the Song..

2007-04-23T22:38:00.000+08:00

A song that touched my heart 10 yrs ago.. and still does this very day... =)

I Write The Song
By: Barry Manilow

I've been alive forever, and I wrote the very first song
I put the words and the melodies together
I am music and I write the songs

CHORUS
I write the songs that make the whole world sing
I write the songs of love and special things
I write the songs that make the young girls cry
I write the songs, I write the songs

My home lies deep within you
And I've got my own place in your soul
Now, when I look out through your eyes
I'm young again, even though I'm very old

CHORUS
Oh my music makes you dance
And gives you spirit to take a chance
And I wrote some rock 'n' roll so you can move
Music fills your heart
Well, that's a real fine place to start
It's from me it's for you
It's from you, it's for me
It's a worldwide symphony

I am Music and I write the songs

2007-04-21T17:42:00.000+08:00

Remioromen - Konay...

01_1 Litre no Nami...

2007-04-14T22:48:00.000+08:00

My maternal grandmother handed me these items today....

1.) 1 Phoenix and Dragon Gold Penchant.
2.) 1 Gold necklace to go along with the penchant.
3.) 1 Gold ring handed down from my grandfather who passed away 18 years ago.

My eyes watered...
I felt human....

Should I follow Nature's course of action...
To settle down and make this dear old lady smile...

I don't know...
I don't have any more excuses...
I really don't...

1 x very lame post

2007-04-04T00:25:00.000+08:00

The answer to my future present past--> Grandfather, brother and little boy

在家是个太子爷。。。
在外是个公子哥。。。
在厂是个打工仔。。。

Thoughts on the train

2007-04-03T07:52:00.000+08:00

One cabin,
Two strangers stood,
Looking out the window as they alway do...

One at his future,
Another at her past....

They never did realise,
The present that crossed their paths...

2007-03-10T08:29:00.000+08:00

When was the last time you chat with your alter ego...

Its interesting how things alway turn out the way you didnt plan it out to be, and yet it will always be something more beautiful than it would have originally planned to be...

Makes me wonder at times whether i'm really the leader that many people think I am, the one who is in control of my own life, who knows what i want, and have the all the bolts and nuts sorted before commencing a project...

Well... what can I say... I'm just thankful for my guardian angel, whom I've seldom talked to since age 13... Thanks for being there with me ... through all the ups and downs... giving me sound advices that youngsters my age then couldnt comprehend... Thanks too for clearing up my mess, and making every incidents into beautiful memories...

2007-01-28T02:00:00.000+08:00

希望她能适应那里的环境。。。

保佑她。。。

2007-01-17T22:37:00.000+08:00

今天，

同事问：
“俊杰，你希望被一个人爱多一点还是去爱一个人多一点“

一年前，
浩凯与我在闲聊时也曾讨论过同个问题。。。

那时我答：
“被爱是幸福！“

如今我会说：
“授权去爱一个人，珍惜她。。。那才是真正的幸福。“

Ho HO hO Merry X'mas!

2006-12-17T21:48:00.000+08:00

Life has been pretty much a bore for the last couple of weeks, work never seems to end... and before you can complete one task, 2 other tasks are thrust into your hand. Its work on most days, and catch up with friends few nights of the weeks... I havent read the papers for the last 22 weeks.. and boy, before i knew it... christmas is coming in less than 8 days!

To all my friends who are working hard now...take this time to wind down for the festive season, take a break, get a cuppa or milo, and just slack the day away...

Ho HO hO Merry X'mas!

2006-11-15T23:41:00.000+08:00

Joy to the World...

Just had my second caroling practise with the NJC pple at pamela's place. Singing really fills the void in my life, it is what makes me human again.... Though i still cant pitch properly, cant hold my note at all... I will work hard to get the notes and pitch right...

Such opportunity to sing with kakhis( like-minded friends) doesnt come easily, i will defintely cherish this musical moment while it last....

Silver bells... Ding Dong Ding....

那些花儿 ...

2006-11-08T07:54:00.000+08:00

Was sleeping on the bus on route to work , when this song woke me up... well...its one of those days where one song goes on and on playing in my mind... Hope its not going to affect my day... hopefully typing it out will be a good way to release this moody feeling...

And ya, Its 7.30am and i'm in my office liao.... =p

歌曲：那些花儿
歌手：范玮琪
LRC歌词 HOT

那片笑声让我想起我的那些花儿
在我生命每个角落静静为我开着
我曾以为我会永远守在他身旁
今天我们已经离去在人海茫茫
他们都老了吧?
他们在哪里呀?
我们就这样各自奔天涯
啦……想她.
啦…她还在开吗?
啦……去呀!
她们已经被风吹走散落在天涯

有些故事还没讲完那就算了吧
那些心情在岁月中已经难辨真假
如今这里荒草丛生没有了鲜花
好在曾经拥有你们的春秋和冬夏
啦……想她
啦…她还在开吗?
啦……去呀!
她们已经被风吹走散落在天涯
他们都老了吧?
他们在哪里呀?
我们就这样各自奔天涯
where have all the flowers gone?
where the flowers gone?
where have all the young girls gone?
where did they all gone?
where have all the young men gone?
where the soldiers gone?
where have all the graveyards gone?
where have all they gone?

Field trip to science centre

2006-11-06T14:32:00.000+08:00

Brought my two tuition kids to the science centre on sunday. They have never been to the science centre, and i thought this will be a good opportunity to expose them to basic science.

Science centre has changed so much since my last visit in 1997... Burger king is now replaced by Macdonald... and the huge open space in front of the entrance is now a science theme playground, introducing visitors to basic concepts such as "simple machines", 'sounds', 'heat', 'waves ' etc etc..

Omnimax Theatre is the only place I can recognise, from the comfortable leather red seats, to the lighting up of the various parts of the screen before the start of the show... My two boys were very excited about the exhbits, running around from one experiments to another, but they never asked me questions about the science behind those exhibits... Not sure whether they have learnt anything from this trip, but just glad that they had fun! =)

I learnt an important lesson on honesty from the kids during the trip. While paying for the entry fees, the cashier asked whether i'm getting the children tickets (for kids below 12 yrs old). I wanted to say yes... for the price of the child ticket is half that of an adult's. My two boys unaminously said that they were 13.. Was sullking and complaining of the high cost as i paid for the tickets, when 1 of the boys asked me... " gor gor, isn't honesty the best policy ?", that really woke me up... darn.. . what a cheapskate I have become... an engineer lacking in honesty... Thanks kids! for the lesson u taught me on sunday!

Bought this cute looking clock from the science centre souvenir shop, it has two LED backlight (Blue and Green), and can achieve 4 functions; digital clock calender, alarm, 100mins count down timer and digital thermometer by just placing the clock in 4 different directions. Cool siah? Just can't wait for it to spoil, before i dismantle it to find out how it works......Sounds like a true geek ya.. haha

Time to start again...

2006-10-22T12:12:00.000+08:00

A break of 8 months.. maybe its time to start writing again.

Connecting the dots

2006-02-26T14:00:00.000+08:00

Attended the "NJC student leader - Alumni dialogue session" yesterday. The main purpose of the dialogue session is for the alumni to understand the problems faced by current students, and how the alumni can help them. Teachers were not invited to the dialogue, so that this can be a fruitful and sincere session.

In my own opinion, such session has been long overdue; the alumni had failed to make its presence known to the students even though the alumni has worked hard all these years helping the college to raise funds and bursaries through its numerous annual projects. I never knew the existence of the alumni during my school days, much less know the stuffs they do to help the college and needy students. It was only after sitting in their meetings that i realised that they were all unsung heros, volunteers to fundraising projects which will bring them neither more fame or glory (most of them are in their 50s). They are there to serve with honour for their alma mater with no strings attached. But as many of us know, unsung heros and mr nice guys never get the credits... and this probably explains for the poor membership in recent yrs, which is why i really felt that such a dialogue session will be useful in promoting alumni existence among students.

Many issues were raised by the student leaders, mostly complains with regards to the lack of space/facilities. However I felt some of the valid issues were not discussed in depth, probably because of the lack of time, and also the seniors' wish for every student to make his/her comments. Throughout the session, i felt there was a need for the alumni to make known to the students of the constraints faced by them, and how they are working towards in solving the problems. I was a student who was full of ideals, with a mentalility of " i want, i get" , but has been since been tamed after my term in the national chorale. It was a good experience as I realised that having a head-on confrontation with the admin is not always wise, working round the obstacles and exercising imagination for things to be done my way is instead the right way to go..

The most impressive speech i heard in this meeting was by poh tzan, a senior from the class of 1974-75. While trying to convince the juniors that the school and the alumni are making changes for the best interest of the students, he cited a quote on "Connecting the Dots" from job steve's speech to stanford undergraduate.

"you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. so you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. you have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. this approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life."

This is so darn true.. At points in our life, we stopped and ponder whether we had made the right decision, chosen the right course, the right job, the right companion, and we are totally clueless as to where we are heading. We tend to let present setbacks dictate our futures, without looking back to see how we have gotten so far.

In analogy, solving for dy/dx=0 provides u with only minimal information of the problem, u still have to connect the dots by subsituting information back to the past equations to solve the utimate problem.

To my friends who are frustrated with their final year projects, relationships or/and work.. I hope this article had provided u with some insight, of the importance to carry on despite failed results and setbacks, and the faith in knowing that everything will turn up just fine eventually. =)

Live update from FYP LAB 2

2006-01-26T21:17:00.000+08:00

Finally after 6 months of trials and errors, i'm seeing some real concrete results.. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you... my first CORRECT simulation.

ok.. time to go home.. anyway, the master student has class today.. saw her outside LT6 just now.. but i forgot to smile.. must try to be polite tmr... keke..

Live update from fyp LAB

2006-01-25T17:07:00.000+08:00

here i am, back in lab again... doesnt feel like school has started.. beside attending lessons in science, business and engin faculties three times a week, i dont really get to see students anymore. So yes, i am now an official loner....

There's this cute masters student here, will check up on her sometime, when i'm more free.. that is if i'm ever free... she must have found me irritating, cuz i have been walking past her cubicle quite often daily to the pantry to refill my coffee, tea and water bottle. Hmm.. think i shall try and muster enough courage to at least smile at her the next time i see her.

Next important issue: anyone interested to help me out with giving tuition to 2 boys in yishun? Basically these 2 boys that i'm currently taking have some difficulties with math. This can be linked to the fact that they have rather short memories and only learn if lessons were more 'hands on' and interesting.

While tuition remains the main focus, i hope that the 2 boys will be able to pick up more important life skills through the 1.5 hrs i have with them. So you will be working with me in planning on programmes as to how we can teach certain basic concepts to the children through games and activities.

Payment will not be in cash or in kind. Rather, you will be handsomely rewarded emotionally, not only will you start to appreciate the wonderful simplicity of working with children, be delighted in their small and thoughtful ways... you will also get to work with one of the greatest uninspired inspirator in queenstown, Yishun and some even say engin (ME) .

Jokes aside, i really need help in this tuition thingy. So if you are interested, please call me or drop me a msg kie.. thanks

now back to my fyp.... or maybe i should go refill my water bottle first..

The world looks better without spectacles...

2006-01-18T21:41:00.000+08:00

Background:
Stepped into Science faculty Lecture Theatre(LT) early where a chemistry class has just ended.
Students were strolling out of the class while we waited at the entrance of the LT.

Conversation with a fellow engin brother:
Engin Bro: "wah, this class sure has lots of chio bus(pretty girls).. whistle whistle"
Junkit: "sorry bro, i never wear specs ... i only see lots of short skirts..."

*The real story ends here... below is fully made up...

Later during the lecture, Junkit put on his specs and looks around... He took off his specs and muttered...

"The world looks better without specs"

She found him... I'm set free...

2006-01-16T16:38:00.000+08:00

Saw it on her friendster just today...
Her status "married" so it says...

A stable relationship that must be...
A wonderful guy he must be...

Gone the chains that I'd aim to free...
Finally now am I set free...

Complain complain...

2006-01-04T21:16:00.000+08:00

The similiarities between my simulation results and some gals i've seen.

Through the eyes of the ignorants...
1.) Wonderful CoNToURs
2.) Mesmerising colours
3.) Mystical results

Through the eyes of the intellects...
1.) Undesired contours
2.) Evil colours
3.) Senseless results

In short,

CHIO (pretty) but totally RUBBISH!

This is not an essay to badmouth any of my female friends, or an essay to spread forth my self proclaimed male chauvinistic view. But for many guys/gals out there, I'm sure many of you will be able to identify with the above mentioned while reading journals, running experiments or doing your research.

Now try and relate that experience to some of the people that you've met. .. Those who gave u very good first impressions... Probably the crushes you have because of his/her natural good looks and assets. But with increased knowledge and coming of age, you begin to realise that he/ she is not quite the person you expect to be.... In fact, you discovered that the habit and nature of the person to be obnoxious and completely disgusting... Super disappointing right....

My fellow fyp mate and I were so happy when we got the above simulation result this morning. After spending the last 2 months trying to understand how the user unfriendly simulation software works, we thought we finally had some decent results to show the world today. But after sitting down to analyse the 16 beautiful simulation results, we came to a conclusion that they are just plain senseless. Oh well, another 1/25 pages for my thesis "why it fails" chapter.

Of course, there is no correlationship between being chio and being senseless. I'm just shooting my head off based on my own personal ignorance, and experiences. I've no statistical readings, or reviews to support the warped view... ha ha

But for those who have really lost hope in the pretty gals/guys/fyp projects they are attached/assigned to. I'm pretty optimistic that the final outcome will be one which is both sweet and intelligent.

Just have faith!!!

Great start to 2006

2006-01-03T00:26:00.000+08:00

siyong & fuhsiang wedding door gift... a heartshape shower gel

Spent my new year working at esplanade for the countdown. A great firework display that was at 0000 hrs on 1st Jan 2006.. The whole 9 mins show was much much better than the ones at firework festival. The music and fireworks were in synch, and for some part, the fireworks really appear like they were raining on the crowd. It's a great start to the new year, a year of hope, joy and happiness...

Attended Siyong wedding just now. The wedding solemnisation was held in the morning at Paya Lebar Chinese Methodist Church, where the exchange of vows, singing of hymns and kissing of bride took place.

I was almost late for the service, had to catch a taxi when the bus driver dropped me outside payar lebar methodist girl school and gave me the wrong direction. But i managed to enter the hall in time, before the bride did. I saw Siyong at the stairs, waiting to be ushered in, i shook her hands, and ran in just before the pastor got up to begin his speech... I was told by sengwai and desmond later during the service that i wasnt supposed to touch the bride before the groom does .. but hey, the bridegroom gets to KISS her kie, i din get that privilege.. so a simple handshake is a good consolation right???? =p

After the church service, i went to city hall to meet up with eric, mickey and vannel. They introduced pure and innocent me to the real ugly world where there are no nice guys in the working world. For 3 hours, they tried to convince me that even the guys in their companies who appear to be decent are likely to be involved in extramarrital affairs or are planning to get into 1. But then again, those guys are in the finance n banking sector, where they are so used to the high life, surrounded by beautiful gals... such temptations are unavoidable, and lead to their downfall if they do not have enough self controlled.. hmm.. i wonder how life is for those decent engineers who earn so much and yet do not have a dog or a girlfriend.... ha ha..

Its back to the wedding dinner at 7pm swissotel merchant court, where the njc choir pple had a table all to ourselves. The joke of the year is by pamela, who asked us who fuhsiang is (*the bridegroom) 2 hours after the dinner starts. But then again, she came in 2 hrs late too.. haha.. but thats because there was a traffic jam somewhere ba. The couple were really nice to have prepared muslim food for two of our frens, zarina and her husband.. but then again, i will prefer the chinese food anytime, the tofu goreng, nasi bryani, and mutton for the halal menu just do not look appetising to me..

Its been a great start to the new year! 2006 shall be a great year for all of us! yea...

p/s: For those who's interested to know who is siyong and fuhsiang, and bask in their joy, please click here .

Confession of a MR NICE GUY..

2005-12-10T11:17:00.000+08:00

To all the guys out there... How many times in your life have you heard someone calling u a "Mr Nice Guy“？ to the point that the word 'NICE' sounds like something derogatory... well, in my quest to satisfy my thirst for knowledge, i managed to google it and yes... nothing good comes out from the term.. enjoy pple =)

1。）Nice guy syndrome
http://meetyourgreens.com/niceguysyndrome.html

Men who suffer from Nice Guy Syndrome will probably have lots of women friends, but rarely have a physical relationship with any of them.

He may be a very good listener, and perhaps articulate and expressive in how he talks.

He may make a women feel, "At last I have found a man who can listen!". Or perhaps, "Wonderful, this a man who can express his feelings!".

In essence Nice Guy Syndrome is when a man has got locked into the 'soft' side of his nature and has somewhat disowned the 'harder' aspects of his male energy.

2. The 'Nice Guy' Syndrome
University of South Florida
http://isis.fastmail.usf.edu/counsel/self-hlp/niceguy.htm

This is an essay giving the perspective of a Nice guy.

The nice guy, they say, finishes last. But in romantic relationships, the nice guy often isn't even in the running.

Both are pretty long essays, but after a while i realise that they werent related to type of articles i was looking for, thus i didnt bother to cut and paste... do read up if u r interested. ...

Both essays speak of mr nice guy as some desperado who tries too hard to befriend females... yes yes, I know a lot of pple will definitely questioned " AREN'T YOU ?".. its true that in my normal bland/empty conversation, the topic on gals will pop up here and there.. and yes i do notice that at times i sounded like a desperado, waiting to pounce on any unknowing gals along my way... haha.. but has any of you seriously saw me taken any actions??

But guess i will still have to make this point clear,

" I am NOT DESPERATE"!!!

While i do feel awkward walking down orchard road alone on a crowded saturday night, or when i see my friends getting attached/married, the 'sour' feeling is only transient..

Being in one extreme end of the relationship scale has its perks too... it has allow me to shape my own personality, make my own decisions without the influence of anyone else other than my family members.. The couple's love that most pple yearn for is compensated by the close friendships, brotherhoods, family ties that i so greatly cherished... All which MAY not be possible otherwise..

I'm not against the idea of being in a relationship. I still believe that a relationship will be an important phase in my life, which will bring me to a higher realm of existence... but for now, its just not in one of my top 3 christmas wish list**

I believe there will come a day whereby i will see the ONE whom I will share a mutual physical, emotional and spiritual bonding with. But in the meantime, i'm satisfied with the way things are ... and so be it... haha

This post has gone way out of its original motivation... I have started out trying to understand what " Mr Nice Guy" means, and come up with defensive statements over the topic on relationship. But i finally found what i'm looking for...

And the best representative of A MR NICE GUY IS .............

Charlie Brown wins your heart with his losing ways. It always rains on his parade, his baseball game, and his life. He's an inveterate worrier who frets over trifles (but who's to say they're trifles?).

Although he is concerned with the true meaning of life, his friends sometimes call him "blockhead." Other than his knack for putting himself down, there are few sharp edges of wit in his repertoire; usually he's the butt of the joke, not the joker. He can be spotted a mile away in his sweater with the zig zag trim, head down, hands in pocket, headed for Lucy's psychiatric booth.

He is considerate, friendly and polite and we love him knowing that he'll never win a baseball game or the heart of the little red-haired girl, kick the football Lucy is holding or fly a kite successfully.

His friends call him "wishy-washy," but his spirit will never give up in his quest to triumph over adversity.

Before i end off, for those unsung mr nice guys out there who fall into the category of "the nice guy syndrome” articles... This is one last post for you, from a female saluting to u unsung heros..

"Until those important girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. "

Perserve Charlie Browns, may u soon get the 'red hair gals' whom u have been pining for. As for those non-committers like me, enjoy each and every single day!

Alright, its time to get back to my powerpoint slides... have a fyp presentation on monday.. will blog more on my past one sem in the next post... until then.. AGAPE..

** Christmas Wish List (In order of preference)
1. Nano Pod
2. Sony Cyber-shot DSC-T1
3. Ansys Workbench 9.0 (educational copy also accepted)

2005-11-04T00:58:00.000+08:00

I love this song very much... dont ask me why.. just like it very much =)

歌曲：保佑我

歌手：张智成

我住在巷口那间28号的房间
我对窗了望就是一片海岸线
衣也旧房子也旧一晃就是二十年
只有包长寿香烟一些老音乐

我床底还收着一双女人鞋
那太值得怀念的一年
那太值得珍惜我们之间
有些愿望希望实现在有生之年

保佑我能有天越过那片海岸线
保佑我能有个巧合我们再遇见
保佑我到最后还能认得她的脸
保佑我
请你保佑我
她不会比我难过

我希望她能比我更好过

what i want to be...

2005-10-24T23:43:00.000+08:00

what i wanted to be when i was just a little boy?

1986 5 years old : Astronaut
1991 10 years old: Prime minister
1996 15 years old: Computer guru
2001 20 years old: Engineer

Coming soon to the age of 24 in about one month time, I'm rethinking my ambition.... Matching my capabilities, interests as well as my paper qualifications... These are the potential jobs available to me....

job no. 1 :Pimp
This is one job that allows me to persue what i am good at.. 'FACILITATING'... No real work needed. I just need to facilitate a transaction between two willing parties, and earn a commission by just facilitating the deal. How difficult can that be?? Just a call and my customer will be able to get his jane, mary and/or ann... Demanding customer? no problem, i will answer the govt call for greater service by going the extra mile to provide the customer with value added services... if female in nurse costume doesnt suit u, nevermind, i will get you the maid's attire... if not then how about policeman clothes??? (*handcuff and baton sold separately*)

job no. 2: Librarian
everyone seems to think that i go to arts canteen just to beo arts gals... whats so great about those flesh baring gals who wear super minis and shorts?? any wild thoughts and imaginations have been destroyed by them 'unknowingly' revealing their erm.... so i guess my next suitable job will be a librarian... I will then be able to sit in front of the main door, and beo all those bespectacled, well covered girls who have troubles holding on to 6 thick library books... wa... how wonderful life will be ...

job no. 3: Lifeguard
enough of those baywatch, whereby the lifeguard is so damn busy trying to save drowning man every single minute.. I will be one of those lifeguards in some ulu private swimming pool, where the drowning probability is 1 in a trillion.. i will spend my days rubbing my flab tummy in the sun... experts say that doing so is good for blood circulation, makes ur tummy even bigger... i will also get to put on my shades, and pretend that its just part of my job, a perk that i get for sleeping on the job...

wa... my life is so full of opportunities....

and its all happening in another 7 mths time....

i know but who can

2005-10-15T09:48:00.000+08:00

I know i shouldnt complain anymore...
I know i shouldnt lament my unexpected bad fortunes over and over again....
I know i shouldnt be comparing with my peers since there aint any basis of comparison..
I know i shouldnt stay at this present self pity stage....
I know i know

But

Who can see the effort that i've put into understanding something which still doesnt make sense....
Who can see the link between the series of misfortunes that has confirmed someone up there is really out to get me....
Who can see the disappointment in my face when my friends are discussing about their interesting and eventful day...
Who can see that i am trying to fight this devil in me who is causing all these pains, grieves and frustrations.....
who can who can

2005-10-10T23:56:00.000+08:00

知足 by Mayday

怎么去拥有一道彩虹
怎么去拥抱一夏天的风
天上的星星笑地上的人
总是不能懂不能知道足够

如果我爱上你的笑容
要怎么收藏要怎么拥有
如果你快乐不是为我
会不会放手其实才是拥有
当一阵风吹来风筝飞上天空为了你
而祈祷而祝福而感动
终于你身影消失在人海尽头才发现笑着哭最痛

那天你和我那个山丘
那样的唱着那一年的歌
那样的回忆那么足够
足够我天天都品尝着寂寞才发现笑着哭最痛wo...

如果你快乐
再不是为我
知足的快乐叫我忍受心痛

Who moved my Cheese...

2005-09-21T14:21:00.001+08:00

Well, got the bad news after my CA1 presentation yesterday. My immediate supervisor is going back to China for good. My project direction will have to be changed, probably back to where I first started. Not a good news, considering that CA2 is like 6-7 weeks away, and I doubt the NUS examiners will empathesize with my situation. I guess I will just have to work doubly hard for the coming days ahead , and that also mean that i will have to sacrifice the other committments that i have taken up during the time when i thought everything was going fine.

I have mentioned in my previous post that my immediate supervisor is a nice guy.He is always willing to teach and guide me whenever i am in doubt. Now this post a great problem, as i already had an idea of what a good supervisor is like, and is likely to compare him with my next supervisor. I really hope my next supervisor is also one who is willing to help, and provide a good discussion. Everyone who have worked with me will know that i absorb and analyse information better through auditory means. Thus a good discussion will really be important for me to understand whats going on in the literature review.. haiz... Guess i will really have to try and build a rapport with my new supervisor.

I guess i also wont be touching on the synthesis of the nanoparticles anymore, but will focus more on simulating the capillary forces between the particles. hmm.. meaning i wont be fabricating the particles anymore, but trying to understand properties based on computer generated data. hmm.. for now, the feeling is like i was supposed to sit in the front row to watch a live magic show, but now will have to make do with just watching the plasma tv. disappointing leh..

Well , maybe this change will be for the better? I dunno... what i know from past experiences are that I am constantly met with unexpected abrupt changes (pple had nicknamed me the SSK *super sui kia*), but at the end of the day, i will be able to see the beautiful side of it, and in fact enjoy the changes... hmm.. maybe this is another such episode?

Well, i'm just bitching about having to make sudden changes, which somehow disrupt my short term plans... I am alright really, so pple please dont worry about me. I'm really fine..

Life in the past one month...

2005-09-17T16:06:00.000+08:00

Its been a long time since i blog online.. hmm... for those who are curious how i look now.. here is the latest photo of thy GREAT ONE...

Nope, i'm not training to become a terrorist(*SENSITIVE word... i may be detained anytime by ISD).. this photo is taken in a clean room for a module that i'm taking this semester.. EE4411 "Silicon Processing Technology". Basically a clean room is room that is virtually free of dust or bacteria, which is very important as most of our electrical equipments are built upon semiconductors.. Those transistors which make our computers, handphones work are measured in micrometers, so u can imagine the disastrous effect a speck of dust can have on the transistors..its pretty like a short circuit..

Hows my life so far.. been pretty busy, trying to balance Final year project, studies, as well as usher duty at the esplanade.

For my Final year project, i'm attached to DSI (which stands for Data Storage Institute). My project title is "Nanoparticle Self Assembly". As the name suggest, the project is about finding a method to make small particles assembled without guidance or management from an outside source. For the still clueless (most prob arts student), my task is to grow atoms!

"GROW ATOMS? how is that relevant to my Electrical Engin degree?" well.. in future, engineering will no longer be constrained by specialization.... Most of the invention and technology will be cross faculties, agglomeration of knowledge from chemistry, physics , biology and the arts..This self assembly technology is currently still in its infancy, and will only be widespread 10 years down the road.. haiz.. this mean that i will not have immediate employment in the industry, unless i want to go into research... at the moment, i'm not interested in further studies... cant stand studying for another 6 years... and given my grades, which institute will want to sponsor me? haha..

My 3 supervisors are very nice people.. They are very willing to teach and guide me whenever i am in doubt. I'm totally amazed by the ideas they have, every consultation with them makes me understand my literature better, and the rationale behind every idea. Once laboratory work starts, i will be dressing up in that spaceman suit as seen above.. according to my supervisors, i will be getting my very own set of uniform.. wa....

My studies... hmm i just cant seem to get into the study mode this time... no matter how hard i concentrate, i just cant think.. this is so unlike the past 2 sems whereby i can just think and concentrate on one module at the same time. Hmm.. maybe i need to go for meditation again to clear my mind.. Better buck up or my grades going to suffer....

Now that i am working part time as an usher at esplanade, I've got a chance to watch performances, especially those that i wouldnt be able to afford... haha.. I'm lucky so far, havent gotten any rotten patrons... hmm.. hopefully i will never meet them.. but then again, who will bear to raise his/her voice on a sweet young boy like me .. *puke*

But working in the esplanade has really open my eyes to many social etiquettes.. as in how i should present myself to the public, dunno whether "high class" is the correct use of the word. Its something that i have forgotten ever since i enlisted in army... too used to the common touch i guess. Not that its wrong to be a heartlander, but its a skill to pick up so that we are aware of the etiquettes needed at different events...

And so it goes.... a summary of my life in the past 1 mth... shall end off here... until the next time i blog again...

Whiter than white

2005-08-14T12:06:00.000+08:00

This is in response to an article posted by my cac bro on his views about the recent Singapore Presidential election. For all who have been ignorant over this issue, do read this first for the background of the case.

Let me make it very clear that I am not supporting any parties, but has based my views on what i read, see and hear. I am not a politically inclined person and I never will be in my school days a political activist. As an Engineering student, I have been taught to think critically and provide down to earth solutions for every problems encountered... The point is? I dun shoot things off my head..wahaha. The government I admit has done pretty well so far, if its aint broken, why fixed it?

Enough crap, now back to the main story....

I do share the same sentiments on many of the issues that my friend jc has raised. It's true that the govt and the newspapers have been actively involved in praising one man and condemning the other... Even the chinese papers who have been historically known to be more pro-pple than towards the govt doubted the capability of Mr Kuan.

Being the president of singapore takes more than just being a capable person, a strong grounding in diplomatic relationship is needed as they meet dignitaries from all over. Thus i cant help but agree with the papers who say that Mr Kuan wasted their time for skirting their questions, not making full use of the press and has to rely on notes to present himself. What they are trying to say is that this man has no charisma ba...

Two lessons that i learnt from this whole saga is that :

1.)U will only be known as an 'UNSUNG HERO' when u 自告奋勇 for a task where no one else will take it up. Else under good times , if you self nominate in this rather conservative society of ours, you will just be seen as an ambitious man who has used previous successes as a platform to bring urself to a higher level (nothing wrong really, i always thought thats foresight...haha)

2.) All men have dark secrets, waiting to be disclosed should anyone overstep his/her function in the society... Mr Durai's integrity was tarnished when he tried to sue SPH for certain wrongful allegations. We will never know whether these allegations are true or not, but 37 years of hardwork by this man has gone down the drain! Well, one doesnt need to be whiter than white to run for position, but at the very least stand on the 'right' side la... haha

So what do i suggest? Its always better to be a kingmaker than to be a king. While being a king seems to be prestigious and dignified, it is the kingmaker who holds the real influence over the execution of tasks. Doubt me, then please explain why there is a counsel panel who 'guides' the president?

A Scary Thought

2005-08-05T15:21:00.000+08:00

Was at Changi airport yesterday with xiaoyun, victor and jianwang for our semestral dinner gathering. Why Changi airport then? Well, its also because I was there to send off my cacs junior zhaoxin who is going on SEP ... Andy and I got her a woollen cap from wintertimes, quite chio one.. (I mean the cap, refer to the following pic)

okok let me get to the main point. While I was walking back to swenson after seeing her off at the gate, I noticed this muslim male who was praying, and infront of him was this really huge luggage. Seeing this, the recent london bombing incident immediately flashed into my mind... the dreadful thought that my life may just come to an end anytime now got me so freaked out that I did a quick reflection of my life, on what i have achieved, what my regrets, what I havent done , havent said in this present life. The feeling got so strong that in the subsequent steps, I took out my motorola handphone (known for its reputation for surviving hard knocks and possible explosion) and wrote a simple will. hmm.. nothing interesting about the will, except that I transferred all my responsibilities to my brother... haha... but well, the moment i pressed "saved to draft", I felt at ease knowing that at least if I'm blown up to pieces, I still had my last words for my dearest family members.

Luckily nothing happened, and the muslim guy was just a passenger who was praying for a safe journey, ELSE I guess I will have to pay a personal visit to each and everyone who are here faithfully reading my blog on the first few days of the lunar seventh month, hmm.. what shall i say to u when i see u ... 恭喜发财 or 见棺发财??

This episode made me wonder whether what our government has been doing so far in combating the issue of terrorism is healthy for us citizens in the long run. While it may be true that the presence of armed personel in orchard area and the airport give us a sense of security, it should be noted that their presence is also a constant reminder of the current situation that we are in, that we are living in an unsafe world, whereby anyone on the street can be a suspected sucide bomber or a terrorist, and there are dangers lurking around every corners... This lack of distrust and subtle indoctrination of fear.... How healthy can it be to our society?

anyone?

Being single...whats wrong?

2005-07-29T02:11:00.000+08:00

Met up with chikun and zhaoyu for supper at Liquid Kitchen in Upper Thomson Road. Hmm.. A nice place to chill out, but the mocktail i had was horrible... zhaoyu appears tired, probably because she is still recovering from jetlag. However i can sense that everyone seem to be feeling very moody. I didnt probe further, everyone is entitled to their own personal secrets, and if they want, they will tell me... but my guess is that quarter life crisis has a part to play, and also the fact that they need someone to fill that void in their lives.. well.. me too ah.. haha.. if this is a sampling of the age 24-26 population, no wonder SDU is so worried, and is actively involved in student's activities, promoting companionships among the undergraduates...

one of the finest example of how enthuastic SDU is in trying to pair up young undergraduates is the 500 pairs 'secret pals' meeting organised by NTU. Another example will be this email that i received in my mailbox recently.

Event Title: Dating Strategies that Work!

Organizer: Eugene Tan Sern Ting, Kong Jing Wen & Chung Pin Soon with collaboration Social Development Unit

Description:
“Love Clinic – How to lose your bachelor’s degree” is an exciting new book on dating and relationships that is written by 3 medical students who share a passion for creating romance. It is packed with innovative ideas and proven strategies designed to help you succeed in your love life.

There will be a talk by the authors on dating strategies that work! The authors will be sharing their insights on “Finding that Special Someone”, “Preparing for the First Date” and “Secrets of a Successful Relationship”. We look forward to your support!

In our commitment to make our book more affordable for undergraduates, we are proud to bring you an unbelievable special offer – NUS students are entitled to buy the book at an incredible price of just $6, a whopping 60% off the retail price of $15. To purchase the book, simply email sales_nus@loveclinic.sg with your name, matriculation number, faculty, email address and contact number, with the subject header “NUS Special”. We will get in touch with you on book collection dates. But hurry, because we have only reserved a limited number of books for this promotion and the offer is only valid till 10 August. So get your copy today, while stocks last!

The book and talk are supported by the Social Development Unit. For more information on our book, visit http://loveclinic.sg .

Date/Time: 5th August 2005 (Friday) 1830-2000 hrs
Venue: NUS LT 15 (Law Faculty)
Price: Free of Charge
Contact:Jingwen (jingwen@loveclinic.sg) The book and talk are supported by the Social Development Unit.

My first reaction to this mail was "KAO... I know i am still single, i know i need a company at some point of my life... but I dont need the government or any other agencies to keep harping on that. Much less the need for someone to conduct a course LVE1101 on how to find that special someone...

haiz.... what is wrong with being single...

Volunteer Appreciation Tea

2005-07-24T18:48:00.000+08:00

Attended Student Care Services "Volunteer Appreciation Tea" last saturday... well.. how time flies... I have been involved in yishun scs activities for 3 years. From being the youngest boy in yishun, i have grown to be one of the more lao3 jiao4 ..... haha...

I still have the faintest idea why i join wonderkids, was it the gals??? ehh..nehh... dun think so ..i remembered during the first session, i was in front of the glass door , not sure whether i should walk in or walk off . i'm glad i made that choice to walk in, because i haven't regret doing so.. As a typical engin student, my life is all screwed up and stressed up with the mountains full of tutorials, labs, projects... and undeniably, the trip from nus to yishun can sometimes be so long and lonely, but the children's smile and voice really makes my day loh! haha.. my heart always melt when they call me kor kor loh..

I felt that I've benefited more from the programme than the children themselves.. keke.. I have to admit that I have become a much better person through sessions which taught us to manage our emotions and how we should treat our families and friends... these are very simple concepts, but i guess most of us are rather 'lost' in this phase of our life, these sessions actually made us think about what we want to do and how to identify our emotions etc.

Friendship came as a super duper gigantic bonus, though it didnt come immediately, but once we started to bond, it became a path of no return. haha.. the numerious chalets, the late night chats....really glad to have known the seniors and juniors in wonderkids... all of them came with the simple idea of contributing without asking for any returns, where else can we find such like-minded friends?? It was the program that started our friendship, and it was the friendship that led us to look forward to each session.

Moving on from the 'wonderkids' programme was not an easy thing to do, however it was necessary most of us felt that our experiences are overshadowing the juniors, denying them of a chance to grow and learn. Also as many of the friends start leaving the programme, the place which holds so much memories for many of us suddenly turn unfamiliar.. The feeling was just not the same anymore... and that was the reason why many of us started leaving Yishun.

We never did leave our volunteering spirits or forget our friendships, many of us are now volunteering in other places, and we also meet up regularly for dinners.... I dont know what it will be like 5 years down the road, what i know is that I will always cherish the present and the past. =)

Thank You Volunteers!

Arrows flying all over...

2005-07-07T09:26:00.000+08:00

Came across these mails from a particular activity group...... Can't help but laugh when i read the mails. WHY? thats because all the emails have double meanings in them, subtle yet its there for all to see.... well maybe i'm just too sensitive.. who cares, its just my own personal thoughts and i shall leave you to be the judge...

A little background of this activity group: Fun loving bunch of people who came up with brilliant ideas for many of the games. Not too strong in the adminstrative sense probably because they are all still young and lack the relevant experiences. Girls in their Logistic team, hmm... probably to advocate gender equality?

And now for the disclaimer* (its redundant i know but freedom of speech still comes along with a price tag in this little red dot.)

"No part of this material presented attempts to portray any particular individual or incident. All resemblences are merely coincidental, and the blogger should not be held responsible. "

Also note that some of the sensitive parts such as names have been omitted to protect the people involved... This blog is meant to be funny , not to shame pple ya...

*my comments are in RED

Email 1: The story

heyoz!

just askin, wuld u all be bringing along de balls, frisbees etc. from the clubroom? cos i want de frisbee back as my welfare comm breathing frisbees down my neck liao, muz return them liao haha...

Email 2: First Reply

hmm yeah well now that it's been brought up - i think we've gotta set aside perhaps half a day or so to go sort out all the logistical madness that is the clubroom. things left behind, things taken home by mistake, cleaning up, the whole nine yards. i'm saying we set aside some time cos i don't wanna be the only one sifting through mountains of lime magazines whilst in the presence of the host of a cappella dudes none of which i will profess to know very well. if you get what i mean and i'm sure you do. if not. well. someone just say yes.for the record i've in my possession a top which my gramma refuses to wear cos it's not hers. goodday.

This guy usually speaks his mind... somehow he didnt this time.. After throwing many smoke bombs and decorating his words with flowery words (trying to be nice as far as i can see...), what I summarised was : "I am sure no one is going to do anything about it! I am willing to help sort out the mess. But someone please be stupid and garang like me and volunteer too.... "

Email 3: 2nd Reply

Sigh.. Yar i agree we need to return all the stuff that are loaned to us for the camp. But don really have to the time to get down to do it BEFORE the coming fri leh.. How??

Ok, to aid things, could ALL ppl who wans their things back put down your names, DIRECT contacts(eg HP no, freq checked email add, etc) & the items that you wan back? Continue from this list which i'll be attaching.. Thanks!

PS: To all log comm ppl, think i most prob wont b able to go help out. Think wx oso.. U guys c wat u can do kk? Thanks!
PPS: For wxe's stuff, pls put them into the cupboard in the club rm can? Thanks!
PPPS: U may wan to check the inventory list(uploaded on yahoo gp..) for who loan out wat stuff. Not updated though..

This is really a powerful email.... The first sentence already suggested that she will not do the job, which she reiterated and make it clearer in the third sentence.... Her question 'HOW' doesnt need a reply actually because she already said in sentence 3 that the guys are supposed to the job....

I like her use of the word 'aid', which simply suggest that she has already used her brain hard enough to come up with an idea to FACILITATE the smooth transfer of the task from her to others.... whatever happens after that she is not obliged to care...

Haha it is also interesting to note that she doesnt mention any names, but just leave it to those who desperately need their stuffs back ("could ALL") or anyone who reads the mail and has a heart to step forward and help... my goodness.. how power!

She said in her mail to request pple to add to her attachment, where is the attachment then? If what she meant was to append the list to her mail, then basically she is just offering lip services... haha... everyone who has tried to organise something and request people to continue adding their list online would have know how inefficient this is.

In summary, what this mail say is: "I am not going to help! Someone else will do the job! I dunno who will do the job, but someone will ....I dont care anyway! "

Email 4: 3rd Reply

Hi,I have created a database in this yahoo gp for u all to update the list of log items u all want to collect back. This way, we will not all receive so many attachmets and the list will always be fully updated.
U all can click on this URL to ge to the database

Must we arrange the items in club rm by this fri? This wk I only thurs before 3.30pm free. If next wk, I'm free on Tues to go down to help..
pps: Pls don't try to squeeze my hula hoop into the cupboard hor

Nothing much to say about this mail.. alright he cant make it, but at least he did something concrete to remedy the situation... haha. by offering another day, and also setting up a database to consolidate all the stuffs.... well... what can i say... good job. =)

Haha.. this is the problem when you have an activity full of seniors... who have seen enough of these bull_cxxx excuses. You cant run away la... one sneeze and most of us will know what you are up to.... So for those juniors who are reading this blog hor... take this as a learning experience and try not to be funny and show pattern.... keke.. cuz we have all done that before too =p

Lousy customer service....

2005-07-04T01:53:00.000+08:00

Damn pissed with Minolta customer service... the representative is so bochup and insincere in its dealing... promise this and that, and cant deliver... sux big time... read the emails below for the full story.... argg....

Sent: Wednesday, June 08, 2005 2:35 PM
Subject: Printer exchange
Dear Sir,

I was referred to you with regards to exchanging my minolta pagepro 1101L printer for the newer printer which is compatible with windows xp. I would like to know when i can bring it down for an exchange. Please advise.

Attached is the mail that was sent to me.

regards,
Jun Jie

Sent: Wednesday, June 08, 2005 11:00 PM
Subject: Re: Printer exchange
Hi Mr.Wong,

The PP-1100L does not work on Windows XP at all, there is not exchange policy for a new one if it does not work.

We are running a promotion of in Harvey Nornan on low end monochrome, please drop by and have a look.

Mr Fujita is not handling printer anymore, so please contact us instead.

Regards.
Teddy Ho

Sent: Thursday, June 09, 2005 12:03 PM
Subject: Re: Printer exchange
Hello Mr Ho,

For your information, the problem was highlighted in December, and Mr Fujita had agreed to exchange the PP1101L for a newer model at a discounted price. A second email request was sent in February when I heard no news of the printer, and the reply was that the shipment was still in Australia, yet to be shipped over. I am aware that Mr Fujita has forwarded you an email back then with regards to that matter, in which I received no further replies.

I am not aware of Minolta's exchange policy in Singapore, and has based my trust on the goodwill and integrity of the company to deliver its promise, as it did for many users worldwide. Having waited for 6 months and spending more than $200 in printing from external sources, the reply that you gave is utterly disappointing.

Sent: Tuesday, June 28, 2005 10:46 PM
Subject: Re: Printer exchange
Hello Mr. Jun Jie,

Your case was reviewed by our headquarters in Australia and because Mr. Fujita had promised you a replacement, we decide you give you a replacement printer, the model is PP-1200w, it works fine on Windows XP, please take note that this is a showroom unit and it will not be covered under warranty as your printer is way off warranty period.

If you agree to the above, please let me know if you can come over to collect on Friday in our office located at 271 Bukit Timah Road, #03-06, Balmoral Plaza.

Regards.
Teddy Ho

Sent: Saturday, July 02, 2005 1:18 AM
Subject: Re: Printer exchange
Mr. Wong,

As it is already passed the collection date but I still did not receive ant respond from you, if you do not respond within 7 days from now, I will treat it that you are not interested in our offer and will cancel this arrangement.

Regards.
Teddy Ho

Sent: Sunday, July 03, 2005 11:25 PM
Subject: Re: Printer exchange
Mr Teddy,

Please note that from my knowledge through past correspondances back in January, Mr Fujita had promised me the PP-1300w and not the PP-1200w. It was also not a display set unit, as the shipment was still in Australia then. As for the issue on the warranty, it should not be an issue if you as the representative have faith in your product.

Please also note that I am not being unreasonable in my request. I am just asking for a better customer service which I feel I deserve. After going through the months of waiting for something that was promised, what I have received so far were insensitive and irrelevant replies.

Regard,
Jun Jie

His final reply was:

Mr Jun Jie,

The problem with your PP-1100L is that it is not working with Windiows XP, we are providing you a printer that can work with XP which is solving your problem. The PP-1200w is working fine with Windows XP. This is the only printer we can offer you, if you do not accept this, I am sorry to say, I have no other option.

Regards.
Teddy Ho

Alright, so its true that customer may not be always right. But the fact, that you have promised the customer something, u should deliver your promise irregardless of the change in command. Minolta printer is really cheap, costing only $189 at Harvey Norman. What i'm really angry is their attitude. From the very first letter, you can see that they are totally not apologetic nor think its their fault. As an engineer in training, if your product doesnt work, your product sucks. Its actually that simple.

This is a case of a bad handling the feedback of customer, where the matter is blown out of proportion... He could have just aceded to my request and save all the hassles of having to correspond with me further.. It will only be a matter of time someone wrote something again with regards to the poor customer service in Singapore.

Teddy, You are really so UNCUTE......

Friends....

2005-06-28T00:23:00.000+08:00

Classmates years ago....
reunioned many years after....
had this strange feeling never felt before....
an urge to know her better....

The one i was looking for....
no doubt i thought it was her....
till then reality strikes...
the cross that divides...

Met again after several months....
an awkward silence fills the air.....
i yearn for the day to come....
where fantasy will become an reality....
a wishful dream i must say.....
which will never see the light of day....

Only when she's attached so i pray....
will then it be my happiest day....

We were soldiers......

2005-06-25T18:50:00.000+08:00

Was out with my army friends at Marina Square 'HANS' yesterday.We havent met up with each other for more than 2 years, which is probably the reason why we all had so much to catch up and update on each others' lives , that we chatted for more than 3 hrs, till the auntie had to chase us out of the shop.

Its felt really good to see these guys again, and to know that they are doing pretty well in their selected fields. Yes, we may have argued, fought and had wanted to kill each other back then in the army. But thats all in the past (plus the fact that guys are generally more magnimous ;p), the sweet memories were all that we remembered... The funny incidents/accidents that we encountered with each exercises... The crappy officers or staff .... the distinct characteristic of each section mate... an of course our favourite KOH'S anecdotes... haha... Those were the days man....

Then so happen that when i was walking along suntec today, i saw the ndp mobile column stationed at city hall.. so i called hong leong, and met up with him where he was stationed there as the commander of the reserve CEV. Damn... the first thing he asked was why i was alone, and not with some mei meis.... haiz... would i be able to look for him if i was with some gals??? maybe i could, maybe there's some gals who are willing to stand beside me under the hot sun, patiently waiting while i spent half an hour chatting with my old pal....He is now a first sergeant, and an instructor at the Engineer institute... haha.. maybe he will be my instructor when i go back for my reservist.. cant imagine calling him "yes sgt toh, no sgt toh".... think i will probably drag him away for canteen breaks instead.. lol...

I'm sure many of u out there wont understand why i get so excited talking about my army experiences... i know that it had been/IS a nightmare or lousy experience for many of you.... and for the gals, the topic just bores u..... But for me, i did enjoy the 2.4 years, and i'm glad that i had not wasted that 2 years of my life. I was able to experience a life that was totally different. Beside good and understanding superiors who were there to shelter me whenever i was in trouble, i was given the freedom to make my own choices and decisions, which is unlike in school or at home, where everything were well taken care of for me... I was given the chance to participate in many stuffs while in camp, be it in the robotics competition (Which i had no experience in), the inter rubgy tornament (which i was a reserve haha), as well as classified trials..... All these are important in shaping my character, which makes up pretty much of what I am today....(*comments.. haha.. it can be bad or good)

Still it has been 5 years since we have crossed each others' paths.... I wonder how we will be in another 5 year time... But whatever happens, I pray for the best for all. Like that stupid sign outside sungei gedong say.... ONCE ARMOUR ALWAYS ARMOUR... =)

See the resemblence between my tank and metal slug?.........

Convenience of Queenstown

2005-06-22T12:14:00.000+08:00

Had my breakfast at the hawker centre opposite my house today, normally i would have 打包 home but not today since my parents are out 拍拖ing... While i was eating, it suddenly dawn on me that i have been living in a prime location all my life... Queenstown is really the best place to live in for oNe reason... CONVENIENCE

1) 2 mins crawl away from Queenstown MRT station
2) 3 mins slow walk to Queenstown sports complex (Got swimming pool somemore)
3) 5 mins stroll to "almost" gf place... (damn... would have strike out "almost" if not for religion haha)
4) 5 mins to the nearest Queenstown Library, 15 mins to Orchard Library...
5) 10 mins bus ride to Town
6) 8 mins brisk walk to Good foods.... (Alexandra Village, ABC market)
7) 5 mins to nearest supermarkets (NTUC, Cold storage @ anchorpoint, or 5 mins ride to NTUC Tiong bahru plaza)
8) 15 mins to FMPS/SS and NJC
9) 20 mins to NUS
10) 30 mins to Woodlands check point
11) 45 mins to Yishun

Ok, i've got to admit that i used to hate this place very much. Having stayed in this town all 23++ years of my life, and moving to a new flat which is like less than 200m away from the old one. I used to lament that i do not have friends that stay close enough to me, to go to school with, and play hop scotch with.... Unlike those lurvy dovey SBC dramas, i had no 青梅竹马 to grow up with , and eventually fall in love with each other, and ahem 私定终身,长相思守, 儿孙满堂 ...

I'm not complaining now though.... many of the little girls have grown up to be in their sweet 18s now =p

Usher @esplanade

2005-06-21T02:28:00.000+08:00

went for my usher briefing at the esplanade... Really like the feeling of being in the big durian... The staffs try to create a very 'family' atmosphere, which is really really personal...What they want from us is our time and committment, and in return we are given priorites over others in term of temp works, and interns... cool... though i will be graduating soon, and all these meant little to me, but such nice gestures actually reflected their attitude towards their employees.. Sort of an iron bowl kind of job.... Guess i'm going to enjoy being part of this big family. =)

The briefing ended at 8.30, after which i went home.... Thinking that my friends in foc should have finished their fright night trial, I jioed them for supper.... horrible mistake as they were only into 1/4 of their games. Poor me endured another 3 hrs for them to finish the trials, before we went to fong seng for supper. But the uncle forgot my order!!! Had to take away then, and ate it at 2 plus at nite, while listening to songs by josh groban and lonestar... good ambience... but think it will be great if there were someone special beside me, to talk to while i'm eating.. But since i'm all alone, i guess i will just enjoy the peace... amen...

My birthdate....

2005-06-19T01:47:00.000+08:00

My friend sent me this email today... Apparently my birthdate (26th Nov) is supposed to mean something.. here goes....

Your Life
You are always curious and responsive to changes. Routine life is not the way you choose to live. Traveling is your favorite hobby because excitement is what you are after.

Well, cant fault this one... though i appears to be a very boring engineer-to-be, and leads a boring life (who in the right mind will stay at home the whole day!? for reference refer to my earlier blog in friendster). Deep down, I will like a dynamic lifestyle... where everything is changing rapidly, and i'm supposed to response to such changes quickly....

Your Love
You will not stand being around the one you dislike. Your love comes and goes quickly. You can be deeply in love but soon after you will be looking around for the next one.

This is pretty lame. Who will ever want to be around an enemy or somone you dislike?? As for the last two sentences? I guess its pretty accurate.... most of my dreams are pretty short.... Everytime i woke up from my dreams, i forgot how the gal in my dream looks like.. haiz... i do have such short term memory...

The moral of this thread?? Basically i'm just bored... Nothing to update... But to please my ever dearies..... I had to come up with something right?? haha.. .But there's many such emails going around.... Believe it or not... The final decision lies with lies... (OK OK .... can see i'm not making much sense...)

Monday tuesday.....

2005-06-17T02:03:00.000+08:00

well, lets talk about what i have done so far in the past few days..

Monday

I had beach games trial at sentosa. It was really fun, and its definitely not because of the mei meis in bikinis nor because of the little girls who went for the trials. In fact I didnt really bother talking to them.. haha.. hey i'm not that 色 kie....Rather it was the presence of my pals (eugene chuhui andy and junchen )who made it all worthwhile... haha... its not the activity that interest me, but the friendship =)

After the trial, i went for my secondary school choir gathering at essential brew(holland village). It was a gathering which would decide the fate of the alumni choir, whether to have it closed or to continue... attendance has been rather bad as passion dies down after a year. With the initial flame gone, and those jokers who joined for watever reasons beside singing gone, we are left with only 10 active members..

The choir was to continue as was decided by the majority. However many important issues that are crucial to the survival of the choir has yet to be ironed out. in fact, the questions were ignored...yes, we can continue as a 10 members choir. But how long is that going to last? Many of us (including me) are moving on to our next phase in life (working world, getting married, have a kid or two blah blah blah), we cant expect to be around forever. And given the small pool of members that we have, i forsee that in half a yr or so ( 2 yrs to be optimistic), we will sit down again and talked abt whether to carry on the alumni choir. duh.....

To me, we should focus on the bridging that gap between the school and us. We are strangers to the juniors and vice versa. And many of my batch will argue that they have totally lost ties with the school. But if you think about it, what brought and bonded us together was really the MUSIC making MOMENTS we shared in SCHOOL... in fact, many who joined the alumni at the start wanted that old nostalgic feeling again, and left because its not what they think it should be.

The ideal way of bridging the gap is of course through the music making and guidance that the seniors can offer to the juniors.. but that is out of the question now given our current state of competence. What i feel we can really do is to help out in the adminstrative part of the junior choir, to be supportive in their activities, provide guidance and even fundings(if possible), while we continue to improve on our musicality. As young working adults, what we have now is really the vast network, and we can really put it into good use to contribute back to our alma mater. haha.. well... maybe i am just too idealistic ba..

Oh well, having come to this stage, i guess we will really just have to pray hard and hope for the best outcome possible. And i seriously hope that it will work out, cuz at the end of the day, this alumni choir is my dream... It was the sole reason that i joined the national chorale, hoping to understand the workings behind an alumni. One which had benefitted me greatly, and given me an experience and sense of accomplishment that will last me for a lifetime..

Tuesday

Met up with ck for dinner. Wanted to eat at glutton's bay esplanade, but there were lightning so we went to the foodcourt at marina square.. however there was no 耗煎, and so we moved on to suntec city foodcourt instead... After dinner we went to watch madagascar (digital)... yes, its the second time i watched this show, but then its different, cuz its digital movie this time.. haha... the graphics is really really sharp, though the screen is slightly smaller... i still cant stand the ending.. too abrupt. But i give it a 2 thumbs up for the great graphics and music that liven up the show...

While chatting, i realised that its been a whole 2 yrs since i last met up with any of my old jc classmates. Many of my friends have changed gf/ bf for dunno how many times, and many have changed jobs... and i still ignorant about it... When i pressed her for the reason why i am kept in the dark, ck replied that i havent been attending gatherings for yrs... with my committments taking up the slot... Looking back, i realised that i have really focus my attention on my committments, and could have neglected my friends around me.. But i really want to thank you all for standing by me, never forsaking me.. (*wewowe* that sounds like what alex the Lion said nearing the end of the show)

By the way, who has madagascar soundtrack? i'm looking for the tune at the zoo, when they introduce alex the tiger.. its a really good tune.. anyone???

Quarter life crisis??

2005-06-15T17:04:00.000+08:00

This mail was sent to me 2 years ago.. dated 30 June 2003. Thought little of it back then cuz i was still a bubbly young 21. I chanced upon it again while i was reading some older threads in my jc yahoogroup, and i was really shocked to see that what i'm going through emotionally is really as described.. man.. Am i really facing the Quarter Life Crisis.... well.. pple, do read and comment on it =)

>>They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along
> >>with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about
> >>yourself that you didn't know and may not like.
> >>
> >>You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two,
> >>but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
> >>
> >>You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends
> >>that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people
> >>you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the
> >>most important ones.
> >>
> >>What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't
> >>really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as
> >>you.
> >>
> >>You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you
> >>would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you
> >>are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.
> >>
> >>Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find
> >>yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you
> >>have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to
> >>your list of what is acceptable and what isn't.
> >>
> >>One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry
> >>with the greatest force of your life.
> >>
> >>You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and
> >>you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the
> >>past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but
> >>stay where you are or move forward.
> >>
> >>You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such
> >>damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone
> >>decent enough that you want to get to know better.
> >>
> >>Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out
> >>why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person.
> >>
> >>One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted
> >>and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same
> >>emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the
> >>same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about
> >>loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while
> >>winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a
> >>contender! What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates
> >>to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard
> >>as we can to figure this whole thing out.
> >>
> >>Send this to your twenty-something friends...maybe it will help someone
> >>feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion.
> >>
> >>May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you
> >>strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy
> >

2005-05-31T17:02:00.000+08:00

http://junkit22.blogs.friendster.com/

2005-05-28T23:05:00.000+08:00

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